Lots of changes. Some good. Some sad.

Let me start out this post by filling you in on the most exciting part of our lives to date; sometime in mid to late October, I got pregnant.  : )  I found out, we think, when I was about 4 or 5 weeks along. Excitement and giddyness ensued, and we told our families the wonderful news. Four more weeks passed, and I was officially sucked into baby la-la-land. I enthusiastically created accounts for several pregnancy websites, and was already browsing for what pattern car seat and stroller I wanted. Things got even more real when I scheduled my 1st prenatal doctor's appointment.

I could barely get through work the day of, without looking at the clock obsessively every few minutes. Finally, my shift was over, and I went home and changed, and met my mom and sister at the Dr. office.

We were in the exam room, and the ultrasound began. What I have seen happen to so many over the years, was finally happening to me!

Until the Dr. said the heartbreaking words, "Something is wrong."

I frantically searched the ultrasound image on the screen, then looked at the Dr's. face. With a heavy sigh, and a furrowed brow, the Dr. said the crushing words, "I don't see a baby here."

I miscarried.

Technically, I'm not sure if it was an actual misacrriage, because the Dr. informed us that the embryo never even formed. So, there was nothing to miscarry. But, however you phrase it; I wasn't pregnant anymore. My tiny little pregnant bubble that I had been lost in for the last 4 weeks, popped.

Upon hearing the news, I was shocked and sad of course, but I was determined to be upbeat and ok with it.

And then my mom grabbed my hand. And the flood gates burst open.

The Dr. gave us some time to digest what had just happened. He then later came back in and discussed options of where to go from there. I just kept looking at him thinking that not 10 minutes ago, I was meeting him for the first time, and we were all jovial and excited about the impending baby and grandbaby coming. And then he tells me this horrible news. My how things can change in an instant.

8 days have gone by since that appointment, and let me tell you; it has been the longest week ever. We're healing though, and making progress. Tears don't leak out of my eyes anymore, although it was pretty hard to write this blog. But, I feel that it is part of the healing process to talk about things and get it out on the table.

We'll be ok. With time, we'll be ok. It's getting better with each day that passes.

Ok, onto some other, less somber news. We moved! Yes, close your mouths, a-gain. I know, we move a lot. It's what we do. There were a few factors included in why we moved yet again. Our old house was right on the road, and we were getting pretty tired of hearing traffic all the time, and seeing people's headlights shine in our bedroom window. That, and our neighbors had dogs, which was fine. But they barked constantly, which was not. So, we're pretty much all moved in, and completely in love with the new house. It's two doors down from the family I've been babysitting for the last 5 years, and that's awesome! We're literally right by Bille park, so that will be nice whenever the time comes for another (healthy!) baby. We can just take a stroll to the park. 

And, last but not least on my list of new things, is my job. I've been there now for about a month and a half, and I'm loving it so far. It's good work, great people, and good hours. Color me happy. I'm thrilled to finally be working there, and it's everything I wanted so far!

I still refuse to believe that Christmas is, at this point, a mere 5 days away! Crazy how fast time is going by. Here's to a happy and healthy holiday, and a fresh start to the new year.

Who knows, maybe this year, Baby Brownlee will come out and play.

Merry Christmas.

Channeling my alter ego

So, for Halloween this year, Jake and I were gonna be a pirate couple. But, Jake not wanting to dress up, and me chopping all my hair off sorta changed those plans. I realize I still coulda been a pirate with short hair (argh!), but I decided to do a 180 from that and go as a punk rocker (yo!). I proudly spend a staggering six dollars and some-odd cents on my costume. . . . .mostly due to the fact that I borrowed 90% of it from my mom. Thanks mom!! So, here it is, digging deep and channeling my inner rebel:

And the hair. .  .



We all went to my sister's Halloween party the Saturday before. Which was also my last day at the store; a bittersweet day followed by a fun night! Dressing up was a family affair. My mom went as a Glam Witch:

My dad went as Captain Morgan Sparrow, and my sister went as Pippi Longstockings:

And then of course there's my handsome man.  : )   

Hope everyone had a happy Halloween!!!

Change is a good thing

Soooo. . . . .drum roll please. . . . . .I GOT THE JOB AT THE HOSPITAL! Yippee!! Okay, here's the breakdown:

I went in last week (at this point, it had been about 9 weeks since my interview), and met the director of Nutritional Services. I introduced myself and was just trying to keep my name is everyone's head. Then, a week later (so, 2 days ago), I got a call from HR saying he wants to do a final interview with me. It just so happened that I had the next day off (yesterday), so we scheduled it. I wasn't sure what to expect for the interview, so I wrote up a little study guide to prep myself in case he started gettin' quizzical.

So, I go to the interview yesterday, and the guy sat down with me and asked me why I wanted to work at the hospital, what I liked about my current job, and why I wanted to leave it. (By the way, he was also a fellow left-hander! ) And then, after talking for a bit about the job in the kitchen, he handed me this:

What I like to call my golden ticket.  : ~ )

So, I filled out some paperwork and set up appointments to get the required physical. I asked the guy if he thought it was ok if I gave my job my 2-week notice. He said as long as I thought the drug test, background check, and physical would come back approved, (cuz they hadn't been done yet) then he didn't see a problem putting my notice in at work. Ding, ding, ding!!! Those were the magic words. After finishing up with him and giving one last handshake; I calmly walked to my car, shut the door, and started freaking out.    : ~ )

Walking into Savemart, I proudly went straight to my boss's office, and put my notice in. The way our schedule timeline works, is that the week runs Sunday through Saturday. So my boss calculated the best date to end on that wouldn't run into another schedule week, and he made my last day to be the 29th of this month. Whiiiiiich works out per-fec-tly, cuz my sister is throwing a Halloween party that day, so it will be the best way to celebrate my end at the store!!

So Savemart will be done that Saturday, then I have about 9 days of complete job freedom, then my orientation for the Hospital is Nov. 7th and 8th. And once that's done, I can start my new job!!

Color me so freakin' excited.

So, now you're all filled in on the latest.  : ~ )

Oh, one more thing, I got myself a haircut! It's a pretty drastic change from what it was, but I so love it!!

Okay, now you're caught up.   : ~ )



Until

When I was in elementary school, I thought I knew who my friends were. . . .

            until  I met real friends later down the road.

When I was little, I thought most vegetables were gross. . . .

           until I learned I couldn't leave the table without

          eating them.

When my sister and I were younger, I thought I could get away with hitting her. . . .

           until  she'd hit me back. Harder.

In high school, I thought the torture of homework and reports would never end. . . .

          until  I graduated and proudly recieved my diploma.

I thought I knew how it felt to be proud of myself. . . .

          until  I dropped 30 pounds and three pants sizes.

I thought I knew what it was like to love someone. . . .

         until  I met the man of my dreams over five years ago.

I thought I knew how lucky and blessed I was. . . .

        until  every new day proves better than the last.

Summer Months

And here we are, already at the very end of August. Where the heck did that time go?? Lets see, I'll update up on the incredibly interesting lives we lead (ha).

1.) My last post I'd mentioned that I've been going to the gym regularly (yay!). I still am. I am now proudly down 30 lbs, and fitting into a wonderfully small size 8. Hard, hard work, but clearly it's paying off.

2.) Back in June, I applied for a position at the hospital; in the kitchen. I went in and met the department manager and gave her a personal copy of my resume. Kept calling and bugging them, and finally they called back to schedule an interview with me. Yippee! It was three weeks ago, and I'm now waiting (anxiously!) to hear the verdict on their decision.

2 and a half.) I've quit Subway as of a few nights ago. It was time to move on, the money wasn't making that big of a difference, and I was never home with my honey. So that chapter is over. . .for the second time. Hehe. Hopefully there won't be a third.

3.) Jake and I, and another couple, took a much needed vacation to Sequoia National Park (Forrest?) in mid July. It was just beautiful. Everything around us was so breathtakingly gorgeous. We stayed for 4 days and loved every minute of it. Here is for your viewing pleasure.   : )

There's 6-foot-five Jake absolutely dwarfed by the tree. It was incredible!

Yes, that is the tree trunk surrounding us. It was huge!

Those are just the roots of a tree, in comparison to the people walking by it. Crazy big.

And here are just some other pictures I felt the need to share.

Here's my sister and I at La Posada for their kareoke contest. She won that week. (!!)  : )

And here's my mom and her dance partner Devon, after competing in "Dancing With Our Stars". They did so great!!

Life Ensues

Well let's see, what's been going on in our lives? Work has been going good, busy as always, but good. Exciting news, I have been going to the gym pretty regularly (nearly every day), since the beginning of March, and since then I'm officially down 23 pounds and counting.   : )
Jake has just recently bought a Unimog, (don't worry, I didn't know what that was either.) Its a type of rock-crawler. He is beyond excited for it's arrival and very much looking forward to playing with it for hours on end. He wasted no time in changing our computer desktop image from a lovely picture of us. . . . . . to one of his beloved truck. Now I know where I stand.  ; ) I must say though, the truck is way cool looking and I'm a bit anxious to ride in it myself.
What else. . . . .Jake's work is also going good. Things have calmed way down since the storms a few months back, and he's back to regular routine work hours. No more 36-hour shifts. . . .for a while at least. We'll have to see what summer brings. Hopefully no fires happen.
As far as school for me goes. . . . .*drum roll*. . . .I still have absolutely no idea what I'm wanna do. As I'd mentioned in previous blogs, I was thinking about taking a vet tech course through ROP. . .until I learned it was gonna be like $500 to sign up for it. Aaaaaaand no. So I think what my next course of action will be is to take a career placement test at Butte, and see where I stand. Maye the friggin' test can tell me what I'm interested in, cuz I sure don't know.
I bought a bike about a month ago, (an actual good quality bike, unlike my last one that I proudly got at trusty Wal-mart.) I'm very much in love and try to ride it as often as I can. I'd love to be able to ride to work but, 1.) The hills are a little too steep to make any timely progress on, and 2.) I'd look like hell by the time I actually got to work, (3 years later).
Well, I think that's all the new and exciting stuff I can squeeze outta my brain for now. Keep reading, it excites me to know that I'm writing for someone to read and enjoy, as opposed to just a diary of sorts.
Have a lovely day!

Enchiladas and a zombie movie set

So, I had this past Saturday off. From BOTH jobs. Color me excited! Jake and I were going to have an us day, finally. A full weekend day to just be together. Buuuut should have known better when its the end of winter and storming rather frequently. That us day turned into a call at 8am Saturday morning, calling Jake out to work storm damage. Of course. So off he goes, with apologetic hugs, and longer than usual kisses, we finally say goodbye and he leaves for god knows how long.
So now I'm alone, on my whole day off, and what do I do? I clean the refridgerator. And do the dishes, and sweep the kitchen and vacuum the living room. Hey, it needed to be done, and I had nothing better to do, so what the heck.
As the (lonely) day passed, I decided that I was gonna make my man an excellent dinner, as a peace offering for his working all day long. For whatever reason, I wanted to make chicken enchiladas. Let me tell you, for my first ever attempt at making them-they were EXCELLENT!! I was very proud of myself!  : ) Ta da!!

Pre-oven. . . .

. . .And looking fantastic and ready to eat!! And they were sooo good.

When Jake finally made it home (at 10:30 that night), I asked him if he wanted some enchiladas, and he asked "From where?" And very proudly I responded, "I made them!!" Long story short, when they were reheated for him, he devoured them and kept praising my good work. And he finished them off the next day.  : )

Ok, my zombie movie set. The next morning (Sunday), I had to be at work at 6:30. Upon driving there, I noticed that our power was out in the entire complex. Our store had a few lights on, thanks to the generator, but overall it was pretty dark. So its dark, and pouring, check and check for the beginning plot of our zombie movie. As I'm running from my car to the store, I realize I obviously can't get in cuz our automatic doors are electric and therefore, won't open. So here I am, outside soaked and locked out, pounding on the doors trying to spark someone's attention to let me in. From out of nowhere, this bum woman that ALWAYS comes in and buys a 40oz like twice a day, and is ALWAYS lurking outside the store, mumbling to herself- steps out from behind the soda machine, really slowly. Like, creepy slowly. Weird lady talking to herself? CHECK! The zombie plot thickens.
So, now I'm freakin' out, I can barely see her, and she's just standing there, staring. I pound on the door harder. Finally, my saving grace opens the door, and I pour in, more freaked than I realized. Once inside, it gets creepier. There is no music, no lights, no customers, no noise. Period. Kinda laughing, cuz none of us know what to do, we try to go about our usual shift duties-albeit limited. As my shift progresses, and I'm moving around more, I realize how completely transformed the store is with no lights and no people. It felt like how I imagine a hospital with no patients would feel. Isles looked longer and menacing and merchandise was barely visable. I kept waiting for some wacko to jump out from behind the cereal or something. Just weird.
Anyway, because the electricity was out, that meant our ice box that houses all the bags of ice, and all out refridgeration and freezer units, were out too. So in a desperate attempt to salvage product, we brought most of the bags of (rapidly melting) ice, and packed them around meats, ice creams, dairy and frozen.
When the lights finally came back on, there was no longer a need for the ice bags to serve as impromptu coolers. So back to the ice box they go. All of them, we're talkin' like at least 50 bags of ice. 50 bags of melting, leaking, ice. Once the ice was put away, we had to go all around the store and mop up the trails of ice drip that we so desperately tried to avoid.
Only 4 hours, it was still a very eventful shift. It brought variety and fun to the day. And there were no zombies.  : )

Beyond Blessed, and Very Fickle

I got my results letter from the Police Department, and *drum roll please*. . . . .I didn't pass. Big suprise, I honestly wasn't expecting to. I'm a little glad I didn't pass, because now that I've had the tiniest glimpse of what the job would entail; I don't know if I could handle it. Well, scratch that. I probably could handle it, its that I don't want to hadle it. So as far as trying to take the test again, I don't know if I will.
My new idea (relax, this too will probably change next week), is like a vet tech or something. There is an ROP class for animal and vetrinary careers that I just might take. Who knows, if nothing else, it will be fun and I'll have learned something. As you've probably guess, I am a very fickle person. I'm all for an idea for about 2 weeks; then ka-putz, outta my brain. I joke with Jake that he is the longest thing I've ever help an interest in. But hey, at least I'm interested in a lot of things, and I try.
Ok, now get your barf buckets ready cuz I'm about to get all mushy.
I love my boyfriend. With everything I have in me. I can't quite believe that we will hit 5 wonderful years together later on in July. That blows my mind. He has changed my life in so many ways, and helped create my future. I remember back, to the first few weeks of us dating. I was so shy about kissing him; I stayed away from his lips for 2 whole weeks, panicked that it would be as horrible as my first ever kiss with another guy just months before. But alas, when he did finally kiss me, it was purely, simply, wonderful. No fireworks went off, and I didn't see any stars. But I didn't have to, cuz what I did see, was the start of a relationship with a very gentle and amazing man. Oh, how right I was. Weeks, turned into months, and months dissolved into years. Now, more than four and a half years later; I can truly say that I made the best decision of my life, when I called Jake up and asked him out (yes, close your mouth, I asked him out.)
Now, as I write this, my sweet man is getting some well deserved shut-eye, after working a grueling near 36-hour shift. He's a Foreman for Utility Tree Service, and therefore, has been so busy with the snow storm we had. Not a day goes by, where I'll hear a slow, sweet song, and I'll get lost in my own wonderful thoughts of our future wedding day. My fantasy never gets past me being walked down the isle and into Jake's arms, cuz that's all that's gonna be important to me at the real wedding. Seeing my handsome man in a tux, waiting for his (beautiful, if I don't say so myself) bride.
He is such a genuinely wonderfuly person, inside and out. And, damn, he's handsome! He has been so incredibly good to me. I hope I bring him as much happiness as he brings me, each and every day. He really and truly is my hero. I can't wait til our wedding day, where I will finally and happily become Mrs. Katie Brownlee.

Dispatch test

So, the letter I got said to go to Town Hall yesterday (Feb. 3) at 9am, and go to the Council Chambers. When I got there, the door marked Council Chambers was open, but the room was dark and empty. I was also 10 minutes early, and figured had been the first to arrive. So I sat right outside and waited for others to show up. Soon, an older woman came up to me and asked if I was there for the dispatch test. I said yes, and she pointed to yet another door, further down than the one I was already sitting by, marked Council Chambers. I had gone to wrong door. Great. Sure enough, in the second Chambers room, there were about 7 other people listening to a woman at the front of the room. I signed in and quickly took a seat, explaining that I hadn't realized there were two freaking doors marked Council Chambers. But, I was there, and only like one minute late. And so the test began.
There were 11 tests in total. The first few were relatively easy, mostly just common sense, "pick the correct sentence" kinda stuff. Then, the harder stuff began. There was one test where, there was numbers 1-60, and next to every number, was a set of 4 codes (a mixture of random letters and numbers). The woman on the CD (which by the way kept skipping), would start rattling off codes, and our job was to try to recognize the one she had said and match it to one of the four codes on our sheet. All was going smoothly, until the woman starting saying the codes so freaking fast, as if someone had pushed fast forward. It. Was. Impossible. There was no way anybody could understand her once she got going fast. But, that's what the test was testing. I'm guessing I didn't do too well on that one. Hehe.
Overall, it was a pretty intense and stressful 3 hours (yes, 3 whole hours of pure stress and adrenaline). We will get a letter in the mail next week sometime saying we either passed and go onto the interview, or we didn't score high enough.
I honestly don't know which letter I'll be recieving. I feel like I did ok, but I really don't know. There was nothing to compare it too, since that was my first time.
So, the waiting game begins. If I didn't pass, I'm tryin' again.

Paper or plastic, 6 inch or footlong, 911 what's your emergency?

I got home from work today, and checked the mail. Behold, what do I find? A letter addressed to me, from none other than the Paradise Police Department. Apparently, even though I turned my application in at the wrong place, they still kept my app on file. They liked what they saw, and I passed the inital review. (Meaning my typing score was high enough to spark their attention, and my job background was sufficient.) So, I go in for the testing process on Feb, 3rd!!! Don't really know what all that entails, but I shall find out soon enough. It said to be prepared for the testing to take around 3 hours, so I'm not sure what they'll be doing and testing, but hey! I made it to the testing round, so thats gotta be good!
I'm so very excited. When I found out I turned my app in at the wrong place, I figured that was it, and they had written me off. So thats when I got my job back at Subway, thinking I'd do the Subway and Savemart thing for awhile, and reapply for the dispatcher eventually down the road. Think again! They liked me, they really liked me!
So, I shall quite anxiously await the 3rd of next month, cross my fingers, answer honestly and to the best of my knowledge, and wish and hope that I get the job! Don't know how long it will take til I found out if I'm hired or not, but, one step at a time. At least I got into the testing!
I will keep you updated, as I'm sure your just dying to know the end result.
Yay for me!